how I like my walkies

Here's how to do a walk properly....

If you see mud, get in quick

Lower yourself in and feel the coolness on your belly

Experiment with different consistencies of puddle

Then stink the car out on the way home

Dear Mystery Friend

Dear Mystery Friend

Thank you so much for the present you left me this morning. It was incredibly thoughtful of you. Imagine my delight whilst having my usual morning shuffle down the lawn to discover half a fresh rabbit waiting for me!

I don't mind in the least that you had the head, and indeed, most of the flesh too. I found more than enough interest in the skin, bone and remaining flesh to pass the time most happily.

Unfortunately Dad spotted me hurling said corpse around the lawn, and imprisoned me. As I am too big to fit through the cat flap any more, I could only watch in disbelief as he shoveled it up and took it away. Afterwards I did go and and perform a thorough search for any other bits, but to no avail.

By the way, was it you that left the really smelly decaying rabbit just the other side of the fence a few weeks ago? I did a good job of digging under the fence to get to that, but again I was thwarted by Dad. So thank you for leaving it somewhere instantly accessible this time.

Why don't you stop one day for a play? I'm sure we would get on really well.

cheerio
Mojo



Dear fox

I suppose you think that was funny? Actually, it was gross.

We endure you catching chickens from the free-range chicken farm down the road and using our orchard as a dining table. You even buried an egg in the veg patch once. And we're thankful that you seem to have got over your obsession with repeatedly pooing in the same place outside the outhouses.

OK, we did find it funny the time you stole the teletubbies ball from the little girl down the road and left it on our lawn. Did you know they were watching you at 3am as you played football with it round their garden before you brought it to us?

But this rabbit thing has got to stop. Mojo does not need encouragement. She is already Mistress of the Forbidden Snack and, frankly, once she's rolled in dead things she stinks.


best regards
Mojo's mum

dog o' the earth

I had a great walk on the weekend which I keep meaning to post about. But then another day is another walk, and I get distracted.

Yesterday Mum and I went to retrace a familiar route through the local footpaths, but things went a bit pear shaped. First she had to get me over the world's most difficult stile. Normally she has to haul herself up because the steps are way too high, but add to that 12 wriggling kilograms of Airedale pup in her arms and it is all rather tricky. Once over, though, we found our way blocked by this lot.



Much hollering, arm waving and barking wouldn't shift them, so we had to retrace our steps. We had to do about a kilometre up the lane to get to where we wanted to be.

Round here the lanes are very narrow, with hedgebanks on either side that are much higher than the cars. We met a white van twice which had about a foot clearance to squeeze past us. Mum squashed me against the bank with her legs and hoped I didn't panic. Actually I am rock solid on this - not fazed at all. Annoyed to have my ears stung by nettles, but not bothered by the van.

In the end we had a great walk. We practised my recall, which I obliged with at first. Then I did my special trick of running off in the opposite direction as soon as I hear the word 'come', laughing over my shoulder as I go.

This time, mum got her revenge. Leona, who runs my puppy class, suggested that Mum hides if I do a runner to stop me feeling so confident.

So evil Mum did just that.

I found her hiding in the grass and I was not pleased that she saw the concerned look on my face. Anyway, I got treats, so all is well.




I also got my own back.

I'm thirsty, I said.

OK, she said, have a drink from that little stream.

OK, I said, ignoring the clean water and inching along to a deep puddle of slime. I lowered myself in with a look of pure joy. Nothing beats cool mud on my belly. It was the finest, smoothest, stinkiest mud I've ever found.




Best thing is that when she took this photo of me rolling the mud off on the grass, she hadn't yet realised that I was simultaneously rolling in something dead. In fact, I think it is actually hanging out of the corner of my mouth in this shot.



Ha ha ha ha ha haaa!

bambi legs

I'm beginning to grow into my Bambi legs now. Not only am I more co-ordinated, but I get to go for longer walks. Yesterday mum took me to the next village and back, which was about 3 miles altogether. There seemed to be a lot of dead things around - rabbits and birds - but mum wouldn't let me roll in them. She's seen me and smelt me when I find dead voles and shrews. I tell her it's in my nature, be she still says I stink.



In the evening dad took me out and I met a young Doberman and Ridgeback, and we played a high speed chasing wrestling game that was THE BEST! Hopefully he'll take me out again tonight to find them.

Today mum took me on a new walk to enjoy a burst of sunshine. She tells me that I should make the most of it because she really ought to find herself a job. Apart from minding me, of course, and I don't pay very well.

On this walk, I kept feeling like I was being watched.



Maybe they didn't approve of me snacking on their poo.



I had a splash in a pond and ran around too fast for autofocus again.



And came back along the towpath from the other direction. I even got to stare at some young swans.